Could you confidently make over 90 decisions within 48 hours of your loved one passing
I was sitting in a funeral home office, having the conversation no one wants to have. I picked out an urn and a beautiful stone bench. The ashes would be placed in the base. The funeral director took me for a tour around the memorial garden and I picked out a breathtaking spot overlooking a small lake and the towering Rocky Mountains behind. According to the funeral director, this was about $14,000 so far.
I wasn’t here for a recently departed loved one. I was here for me.
Don’t worry, I wasn’t ill – I was just being proactive.
Years before, after I finished my training and became a Professional Organizer, my grandfather passed away. I was honoured to help my Gramma with the daunting task of sorting through a lifetime of belongings. It was a big job. My grandparents had been married for almost 69 years and they had lived in the family home for well over 30. Paperwork – important paperwork – and photos were scattered amongst rooms and boxes that hadn’t been opened for a long time. It was a slow, long, and patient process.
Helping someone in this state can be highly emotional, but with my training, I consciously and lovingly assisted Gramma in deciding what items would come forward with her and which ones would not. Being present and directing this process lit me up and deepened my passion for helping people not only organize “surface stuff”, but the things that really matter during life-altering moments.
I saw in my Gramma the freedom and relief that comes from this process of uncovering the unknown and creating space for a new future.I wasn’t here for a recently departed loved one. I was here for me.
The Idea for the binder
It was years after my grandfather passed away that I was struck by the image of my aunt carrying around a binder of important papers that had to be present at all my Gramma’s medical appointments. I saw a need to organize our most important information in an easy-to-access way.
I also realized on a deeper level the huge role that loves ones take on as we age – they are the ones to organize our affairs and make important decisions for us. This is usually not straight-forward and can end up in a lot of disagreements. Surely, I thought, there can be a way to help ourselves and our loved ones too, by being proactive. I started with myself. This is how I ended up sitting at my future place of rest, thinking about my children.
I could imagine them sitting here, visiting me. I thought I was making the right decision. then it hit me…here I was making decisions assuming what my kids wanted. The whole reason I was here was to take care of them in my absence. It became very evident that I needed to talk to them before I continued.
I attempted to have the conversation with my daughter first, and she wouldn’t have it. “You’re never going to leave me Mom,” she said, and left the room, deeply uncomfortable. i kept bringing it up, and every time she would sit a little longer in the conversation. When my son came over and I had the opportunity to talk to him, he shocked me. His response was so quick and simple. “You’ll be with me wherever I go Mom,” he said. “I don’t need a place to go see you.” In one simple moment he touched on the most important thing.
We organize for ourselves, but most importantly we organize for the people we’re leaving behind. Our gift to them.
The Binder: A Legacy Planning System
The Binder is not just a place for all your important documents to live. It’s a legacy planning system that allows you to lead important conversations and make sure everything has been addressed. Additionally, The Binder comes with one-on-one support and guidance from me.
I am here to facilitate your journey, provide accountability, and make sure everything is covered in a smooth, easy way.
5 purposes of the binder
The Binder removes the question: “Am I doing the right thing?” or “Would she have wanted this?” These are the questions that most often tear families apart – with no clear instructions, decisions are left up to guesswork and personal opinions.
With The Binder, you can confidently make decisions knowing you are honoring your loved one’s wishes.
Tell your people what they mean to you and how they have impacted your life. The Binder has taught me how to live in a more intentional manner.